I is for Incomplete

It happens. Illness, finances, all sorts of things (both good and bad) can happen, and they tend to occur when we have the least time or resources to deal with them.

So let's say you're in college and your parents announce that because of a big promotion, you are all moving across state. Now. In the middle of the semester.

What can you do?

This actually happened to a student of mine. Fortunately, we were able to work out an arrangement where he stayed at a friend's house a few nights a week, allowing him to attend class once a week, and keeping up with the rest of the classes via e-mail.

Many times, unfortunately, the circumstances aren't that fortunate and the solutions aren't that neat and clean.  Job loss, poor health and family issues are common reasons why students have to withdraw from classes. The problem is that unless you drop the class at the start of the term, you rarely get your money back, your grades can suffer, and at the very least, you have to spend your time and money to retake the class.

What can you do?

As I've noted in other posts, there are options. The first step is to talk to your professor. Explain the situation as soon as you can. Ask what the options are. If it's not an ongoing issue, can extra time or an assignment modification be given? If you do have to drop the class, talk to the bursar's office. In certain circumstances (medical, etc), refunds past deadline can be given. The financial aid office can give you information on how a withdrawal will affect your account.

The important thing is to be proactive. If you go back after the semester and the grades are issued, you will have a lot fewer options than if you had let people know what was going on earlier in the semester. I hope nothing that affects you like this happens, but if it does, don't wait to get the help you need.

H is for Help

As you may have noticed, this is a blog about navigating the sometimes intimidating landscape that is college life. The good news is that you aren't the first to have what ever issues you are or could be facing. More good news is that you have people ready and willing to help you get past the rough spots.

A few years ago, one of my students told me "You professors are nice enough, but you just don't care about me." I explained to her that it wasn't true. While there will always be that one professor who may in it for the wrong reasons, we teach because we love our subject and want to share that knowledge and all the good things it brings with you. We may hold you to a high standard, but we are trying to build you up in to something better than you are today. A common first day activity in my freshman seminar classes is to give the students a list of activities (I have lived overseas, etc) and ask other classmates to indicate if they had done these things. I find it to be a good way to help everyone to tell a little about themselves as opposed to going around the room with the usual "tell the class one thing about yourself."

Another important lesson is that you get what you need by getting out of your seat and asking for it. I remind my students that unlike, high school, no one is going to micromanage them. We won't call the house and ask where they've been, we won't send emails to remind them of assignments, but we will help them if they need it. Some of the helpful people on campus include:

Librarians: These people are your absolute best friends when it comes to research. They know where all the good stuff is, where to find it, and how to cite it.

Counselors:  Maybe you don't know what major is best for you. Maybe you don't know how to deal with a situation at home. These people are great to talk to. If they can't help you, they will get you to the best place. They, like your professors, are also held to the same level of confidentiality as doctors and lawyers (by federal law in the US), so you can talk to them knowing your business won't be broadcast all over.

Professors: Have a question about an assignment? Need more information about a major or industry? Ask your professor. We love talking shop. The important thing is to catch us during office hours (or make an appointment), so we can give you full attention (before and after class is popular, but tough for us as we're usually rushing on to the next class). Also, questions about homework are best asked prior to the due date. "I don't understand this" in an email the night before does not count. It also takes away options I would have had to help you if you had just contacted me sooner.

There are lots of other helpful places and people, but you have to take the first step.  Good luck!

G is for Goals

We hear a lot about goals. They should have deadlines. They should be worded as positives. The list goes on and on.  Why are goals so important?

I like to think of goals as long-range signposts. It is easy to get caught up in day-to-day nonsense and frustrations. Between school demands, family needs and work responsibilities, it’s hard to remember why we put ourselves through the wringer that is college. That’s where the goals come in.  If you know from the start that you enrolled into college to get that degree that will let you do the things you love and get the results you desire, it will be a lot easier for you to get through the temporary pains of sleepless nights studying and writing up assignments.  Here are a few points for you to keep in mind:

* Even if you have already started school, it’s not too late to get clear on your goals. As a matter of fact, I like to revisit my goals to see if they are still what I truly want.  As we learn, grow and get older, it is normal for our priorities to change.

* Remember the difference between goals and values. Goals are things we achieve. Values are our core beliefs that guide us. If my values include the importance of service to others, my goals can include getting a job that allows me to help the under-privileged, for example.

* Take your time in working out exactly what you want, and why. While it is true that your list of goals will be a living document, and subject to change, you still want to be sure that you accurately and clearly explain what you want to do (goals) and why (values).

* The values component is important! As we go through life, different opportunities and challenges will present themselves. If you are clear on why you want to achieve your goals,  you will be better able to take advantage of new conditions without compromising what is important to you.

* Most importantly, your goals should be what YOU want, not your family, friends, teachers, or anyone else. As important as these people are to you, they cannot live your life. Only you can, so do the things that make you happy. They may not be thrilled in the moment, but you have to life your own life.

We’ll get back to this in future posts, but in the meantime, consider the words of Socrates: “The unexamined life is not worth living for a human being.” So, look inside yourself, if you want to know why and how.

F is for Failure

It's going to happen.

If you push yourself out of your comfort zone. If you are willing to put yourself out there, you will eventually fail. It may be minor. It may be epic, but it's failure.

That is good news.  Why? Well, being perfect all the time isn't a reasonable goal. If it's a challenge, you will only set yourself up for anguish and frustration. If it's easy, than why do it? I play rugby. I don't play it well, but I have fun, go places I never would have been to otherwise, and meet new people. A veteran national team player passed along some advice that got her to the World Cup.

Get in there, and if you're going to mess up, make it huge.

Many times, playing safe will cause more problems and lead to more regret than going at it 100%. This is not the same as being foolish. Taking a challenging class can be gutsy. Do-it-yourself bungee jumping is stupid.

It's OK of you aren't spot on all the time.  Learn from what went right and what went wrong and go on from there. I'm going to end this with another quote, this one from Tony Robbins:

Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.

So go out there and and be human!

E is for Effort

If there's one thing that I hear over and over from my students it is this: "Oh, my professor didn't give me extra time. I just got a zero. It wasn't like that in high school."  Now, I'm certainly not beating up on high school teachers. They have a hard job and have to deal with a lot of things I don't have to, but I cannot tell my students enough times that from here on out, either you get things done or you don't. People will help you, but they will not micro-manage you. It's not that we don't care; we simply don't have time.

The key is effort. A friend of mine told me this on the day he graduated medical school: "A monkey can get a medical degree, but he has to be a very determined monkey." This isn't to say that doctors (or any other professional) don't have to be smart, but someone of average intelligence who consistently puts in effort will go farther than the genius who sits back and does nothing.

Keep working. Keep trying. Show me where you got stuck, and I'll help you.  Not even trying and throwing up your hands at the first sign of trouble will get you nowhere.

D is for Dedication

Right now, students in the US are out on spring break. For some, it's a chance to escape books and responsibility, for others, it's an opportunity to pick up extra work hours. It's also past the halfway point of the semester. Those assignments and projects that seemed a million years away are now coming due. Unfortunately, many students drop classes, or just stop showing up, overwhelmed by the pressures of school, home and work.

The unfortunate part is that it doesn't have to be this way. Motivational speaker Tony Robbins has a saying: "If you can't you must, and if you must you can." Think about it. You spent money that won't get refunded and time you can't get back for classes you won't get credit for (if you're lucky), or rewarded with an F and a blow to your GPA (if you're not).

Remember, all your instructors went through the same things you did. Everyone's story may be different, but the struggles are the same. Hang in there. Go to your instructors and talk to them. Get the help you need, but don't quit.

C is for Classes

Hello again!

Today's topic is "Classes," because there is no two ways around it: If you're a student, you have some sort of class to deal with.  Oh, and how we fret over them! Who's teaching the course (ratemyprofessor.com being the place that instructors go when they feel too good about themselves)? What time is it? Do I have to buy the book?

The only important thing to do is to be there. Not just physically (see my post on attendance for more on that), but mentally.  Especially in the college/university setting, spoon feeding is not an option.  In addition, your professor is not given bonus points to give a passing grade just because you're likable.  Higher education is an option you choose. However you feel about it in the moment, you signed up, so get in there and be ready to contribute.

You may end up glad you did, but I'll never tell. ;)